he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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