so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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