Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry pnwd hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(518): View more from New York

Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.

Fav 39 1043 9428
share tweet
(408): View more from California

Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.

Fav 10 3915 1452
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(310): View more from California

It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations

Fav 19 8761 1467
share tweet
(860): View more from Connecticut

Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.

Fav 8 3647 1020
share tweet
(214): View more from Texas

He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.

Fav 7 2217 1091
share tweet
(530): View more from California

So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?

Fav 10 1647 828
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(304): View more from West Virginia

I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.

Fav 17 2056 821
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(312): View more from Illinois

I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.

Fav 0 945 687
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(425): View more from Washington

can jess come too?

(901): View more from Tennessee

sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.

(425): View more from Washington

she comes with her own booze, no worries.

Fav 0 91 4
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT