I'd wear matching sweaters with you
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
