loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
