Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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