I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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