So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Randomize
