I just cut my nipple shaving
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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