we have officially lost it.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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