Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
