Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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