She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
she told me i tasted like america
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
