My balls are so social today.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
