i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
