How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
