I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
