As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
