She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
