I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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