So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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