Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
im having a threesome with these popsicles
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
