At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
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