wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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