I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
