Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
