Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
