if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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