I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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