Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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