If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
