Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
