I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I haven't been this sober since birth.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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