What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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