remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
