she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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