we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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