He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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