Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
