I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Congratulations! We have a period
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
