i jhust puked up my retainher.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
