google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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