I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
