I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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