how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Randomize