porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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