My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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