if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
