Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
