"it" just moved
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
